Adam Morrison Looks Like a Homeless Man...Again!

A few years ago, I posted a picture of Adam Morrison in the stands at a Gonzaga basketball game. He was looking like a shell of himself and probably had a fatty blunt rolled up behind his ear.

Mr. Morrison is back! I now present you with 'Adam Morrison looks like a homeless guy Part 2'...after the jump.

Let's do an 'America's White Boy Fashion Breakdown'...

• He is sporting a goatee that would make Scooby Doo's Shaggy jealous.
• Notice the 'shit under the jersey' look made famous by every whiteboy ever.
• He looks like he would drink a Four Loko with dinner.
• How many cases of dry shampoo does this hippie have in his bathroom?

I can't bash on Adam Morrison too hard. He is one of the reasons why I named my blog 'America's White Boy' years ago. He has helped me fill the blog with content...humorous content.

In a perfect world, Adam Morrison would still be playing 'Halo 2' against J.J. Redick on Xbox Live. I doubt if Morrison has upgraded his system to an Xbox 360.

Before I go, I just want to let the Brooklyn Nets fans know that this will be the face of your franchise if the team can't strike a deal with Deron Williams. Let that marinate tonight and see how many gray hairs appear by morning.

My (Failed) Attempt To Get Bill Simmons To Write For "America's White Boy"

I read on Deadspin that Bill Simmons would like to start up a website and become the underdog once again. He is currently under contract with ESPN, but this is something that he could possibly do once his contract ends. I am here to offer him a position here at America's White Boy. Why spend the capital to start a new website when you have a fairly okay one right here. I have to admit, he probably has more perks at ESPN, even if he is rarely in Bristol, CT. Here is my failed attempt at luring Bill Simmons to write for us.

"America's White Boy" isn't the biggest sports blog on the internet, it's only has a page rank of 4 on Google, but hey I won't censor you. You can talk about basically anything, I'll allow it. If you want to write a 540,000 word post about how Christina Hendricks' boobs are better than Salma Hayek's boobs, go ahead! You could even invite a porn star in your fantasy basketball league, although considering your possible bad blood with your soon-to-be former employer ESPN, you may have to use Yahoo for your league.

You probably won't be able to land huge interviews for podcasts, I don't have the bandwith for downloads. Although I will give you creative freedom to do some nice "Top 10" posts, I hear they do well on Digg and Reddit. Think about it...

As far as pay goes, you have enough money, right? "The Book Of Basketball" is going sell a few million copies and I'm sure you'll end up as an NBA GM at some point. I know the Milwaukee gig didn't work out, but once the Zombie Sonics GM quits, the job is all yours. Also, please disregard my post on Gunaxin.com about your possible General Manager position with an NBA team. It was meant as tongue-in-cheek, like your constant ribbing of Mike Dunleavy. If you get enough traffic, maybe I can get a pair of Columbus Crew tickets, 'cause I hear that you like soccer.

I have one condition of employment, you would have to move to Columbus, OH. I know, it could be a dealbreaker, but I have to know what my possible employers are doing. I do watch NFL games every weekend, but I doubt my 27-inch Sanyo television compares to Jimmy Kimmel's set-up, but hey, free Raising Cane's chicken fingers and White Castle to eat and all the Old Style that you can drink.

In closing, I am the definition of an underdog. I am an accountant during the day and I write for three websites at night. I would write if only one person would read my posts. Sure, I do get some advertising money, but I've used it to upgrade my laptop, buy my URL, and be able to attend a blogger conference this weekend. I write to explain my point of view and I hope to make a career out of it at some point. If it's either here on this site or somewhere else, I love writing. I have been a sports fan since I was a little boy and my fondess memories were watching Chicago Cubs games with my dad. I know athletes aren't perfect and most are barely role models, but there are times that I forget that and get lost in games that make me feel like a kid again. To modify a quote from "Almost Famous,"What Do I love about sports?....Everything."

America's White Boy Diversifies

I've been quite busy lately, not sure if "busy" is the right word. I guess you can say that I've been "uninspired" here of late. My friend Carlos and I had a discussion today and I believe he will be another voice of opinion here on America's White Boy. He will be covering politics, tech, gaming, and random hilarious information. He will help diversify America's White Boy by adding a Mexican-American voice.

The talks with Carlos is still in the early negotiations, we may have to include a signing bonus. A rumor is floating around that he hired Scott Boras, Drew Rosenhaus, and Jerry Maguire to lead the contract talks. I need some advice from Rod Tidwell, maybe he knows how to handle it better than me.

I Feel Like Bob Barker...

Over the past couple months we have built up this website and you have responded with great viewership, honest opinions, and the ability to type in my website url in your web browser. We have been approached by a few people about holding a few contests in the very near future. DVDs, CDs, and depending on your gender, age, and location, free massages by yours truly. Keep tuned to the upcoming festivities. I'll need some ideas on how to pick the winners. I will need to make a fun game that all of our viewers will enjoy.

I'll give you two hints on what we could be giving away.

1# - Mullets

2# - Destruction

Everyone have a great day and remember to get your pet spayed or neutered to help control the pet population. Now I am off to do things to some Barker Beauties.