I'm Officially Announcing My Candidacy To Be An NBA GM

Charles Barkley has came out recently that he wants a job being a general manager in the NBA. He hasn't been the only person to lobby for this position. Deadspin recently wrote a review for Bill Simmons' book, "The Book of Basketball," and said it was a 700-page resumé to be an NBA GM. I guess since everyone else is doing it, why not me?

Dear NBA Owners,

My name is Bobby Roberts, but I am known around the internet as "Sweetbob." I am writing you to officially announce my candidacy for a general manager position with one of your teams. I know that there are more qualified than me and probably know more about the game than me, but c'mon, it would be a fun gig!

Here is the scenario, remember the movie "Eddie" starring the great Whoopi Goldberg? It would be a real-life version, but hopefully a lot more entertaining. Once I am announced as your new general manager, just imagine all of the press that your team would get. I would be on big news programs like "ESPN's First Take" or "Last Call with Carson Daly."

I'm from Indiana, so I have that going for me. Larry Bird didn't have any executive experience before he got the gig in Indiana and look what he's done! He's been the #9 seed in the East the last few years, what an amazing job he has done. I also went to an Indiana University affiliate, the same college that pumped out great NBA executives like Isiah Thomas and Mark Cuban.

I am throwing my hat in the ring for the same reason why Charles Barkley and Bill Simmons did...why not? It seems like a pretty easy job. I'm currently an accountant, so I can figure out salary cap numbers or if not, I can just try out trade on ESPN's Trade Machine. I think everyone deserves a shot, maybe we should start a lottery system where everyone has a year to turn an NBA team around. Think about it, maybe you can use those ping pong balls that you use for the NBA Draft. Everyone deserves a chance to mess it up, right?

Sincerely,
Bobby Roberts

Is Isiah Thomas Scared Of Madison Square Garden?

Isiah Thomas is the new coach of the Florida International college hoops team and the team is already making news. They are set to play in the Coaches Vs. Cancer tip-off , but they are now threatening to pull-out if the organizers don't change their opponent. Could Isiah Thomas be afraid to go back to Madison Square Garden?

They agreed to play Ohio State in their first game, but when they received their schedule, they are set to play the defending champions, the North Carolina Tar Heels. I'm sure it would be a tough game for FIU, but so would a game against Ohio State. Is there a bigger issue here? The game is being held at Madison Square Garden, the place where Thomas led the Knicks into the ground.

It's a possibility, but of course they knew the game would be played there when they agreed to play. It's a nice "get" to be scheduled in such a high-profile game early in the season for a program that isn't very established. If they played Ohio State, they mostly likely wouldn't be beat by more than 30 points. The Buckeyes don't execute a very high scoring offense and Thad Matta, the coach of Ohio State, would probably start putting in people from "The Trillion Man March" (guys who never see the hardwood). North Carolina will be fighting for the #1 seed and will be looking for a large margin of victory to assure a high spot. Thomas doesn't not want to get trounced in his first game coaching in college, but it would sting even more if it happened at MSG.

If I was Isiah Thomas, I would try to pull-out of this game too. The New York media is something that he tried to escape by taking a low-level Division I college coaching job. He would be laughed at by everyone who watched that game. If they end up playing North Carolina, they would lose by 75 points, because the Tar Heels 3rd-string players are still probably better than the talent at Florida International. Thomas said that he would like to play North Carolina in "two or three years, but now right now." I have bad news Isiah, North Carolina will still be great in two or three years, but I have a feeling that FIU will still be bad and you probably won't be coaching them, James Dolan isn't the A.D.