God, Help Me!

After a rough day of college football and non-competitive college basketball games, I am stuck with the Browns/Bengals game on my television. These teams are two of the worst teams to watch since 50% of each of their teams are on injured reserve. Brady Quinn, Derek Anderson, Carson Palmer, Chad Johnson (Ocho Cinco), Kellen Winslow, and about thirty other players are not going to play in this game. This leaves me with watching a Ken Dorsey vs. Ryan Fitzpatrick match-up.

I want to have fun while watching this game, so these are the things that are going to keep me interested.

- Drink every time Braylon Edwards drops a ball.

- Over/Under 2 minutes into the game that they start talking about next season for both of these teams.

- Over/Under 4 times, that the announcers talk about Ken Dorsey's college career.

- Count the amount of people with bags over their heads vs. the idiots without any shirts on

- The Bengals should have less points than people in the team with felony charges

- Realize that Romeo Crennel outweighs most of his offensive linemen

- Laugh repeatedly when the announcers describe the history of this rivalry and try to make it sound watchable.

I'm not sure if I will be able to make it through this game, this might be my last post. If I don't make it, I hereby bequeath this blog to my roommate.